What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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