U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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