lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
