she was so not down for the gang bang
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
