This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
