ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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