I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize