Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
