Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
