whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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