So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
