No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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