so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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