I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Nobody cheats on THIS.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
