He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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