after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
