You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
