I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
