I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just googled if crying burns calories
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
