I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
