Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
