Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
