We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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