so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
