why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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