Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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