you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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