Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
