How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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