the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
