I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
