First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
