Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
