just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
