So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I enjoy the company of your penis
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
