Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
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