id be glad to
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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