i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
we're so committed to being not committed
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
