Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
