The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
