I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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