"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
