we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
