Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
