My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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