I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
