he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
3pm strippers are depressing
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
