Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
