it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
