If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
