we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
