just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
there is puke in my bra ... again
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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