proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
