We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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