So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i wish my penis had a tongue
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
