oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
