I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
