I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize