Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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