So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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