You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
