So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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