I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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