The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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