I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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