cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
