i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize