Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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