I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
