even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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