You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize