singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Michael Bay diarrhea
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
