Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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