are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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