No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
