If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
