I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize