my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
