I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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