woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
