You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
