Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You can't just leave with hair like that
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
