Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
