Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
