Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
