You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
